Sidney Crosby's cell phone rings to the tune of Tim McGraw's "Live Like You Were Dyin'"...

Sidney Crosby: Hello?

Lanny McDonald: Hello, Sidney? This is Lanny McDonald.

SC: Whoa. Seriously? Is this a joke?

LM: No joke, son.

SC: Wow, that's awesome! I loved watching you when I was a kid! Your moustache rocks!

LM: I know, Sid, and that's actually why I'm calling you on behalf of the Sports Moustache Society.

SC: The who with the what now?

LM: The Sports Moustache Society. We meet monthly to discuss the state of moustaches in sport, share tips on grooming and waxing, and brainstorm ways to make moustaches more prominent in society. Once a year, we induct someone into the Sports Moustache Hall of Fame. This year's inductee was Dave Stieb.

SC: Really? Wow, that's... kinda cool, I guess.

LM: We certainly think so. But the reason why I'm calling you is that, as the chairman of this group, I've been asked to tell you that it would be in the best interests of promoting the aesthetic virtues of moustaches in sports if you would shave off that disgusting smear over your lip.

SC: I'm... I'm sorry?

LM: You heard me, punk. Look, I know you're trying to be "one of the guys" by growing facial hair for the playoffs like a big boy, but you look ridiculous and you're making us proud moustache-wearers look bad.

SC: Now wait a minute! I know my facial hair looks a little sparse right now but I plan on taking the Penguins right to the finals so there will be plenty of time for it to grow in.

LM: Oh, please. I know facial hair, son, and you can't grow it. It looks like your mommy forgot to wash your face before she tucked you in with your blankie last night. You look like you've got pubes under your nose.

SC: But it's my good luck charm, Lanny! If I shave it and we don't win the Cup, I'll feel like I let my team down!

LM: Listen, son. Did your parents ever let you watch the movie Dumbo?

SC: I think so. Is that the Disney movie with the flying elephant?

LM: That's right. Well, remember when Dumbo thought he couldn't fly without his magic feather, and the mouse told him the feather had nothing to do with it and the magic was within him?

SC: Yeah! Yeah, I remember that!

LM: Well, Sidney, your power does not come from your pathetic excuse for a moustache. Your talent comes from within. You're a star, kid.

SC: Yeah, I guess I am a star! I don't need this playoff moustache. I'll shave it off for you, Lanny!

LM: Thanks, kid. I thank you. The Society thanks you. Canada thanks you.

SC: No problem! One last thing, though. You were a great hockey player yourself, Lanny. Why did you have that moustache?

LM: Oh, well that's because my moustache is magical. Very, very magical. Most people don't know this but I'm actually 174 years old.


LM: Well, I shouldn't keep you, Sidney. You've got some shaving to do.

SC: Yeah, I'll do it right after practice!

LM: Good boy. Now if you'll excuse me, my wife just made some soup and she needs me to strain it for her.

(Thanks to Sarah for sending me this)


The Conn Smythe Trophy. Maybe I missed all the talking heads recently addressing this issue, but I haven't heard much MVP speculation lately. Now I know it isn't over until the fat lady sings, but the Red Wings and the Pens are 1 win away from the finals at this point......yes, I know the Stars and Flyers could be just 3 and 4 wins respectively from the greatest comebacks in recent NHL history. Lets just look at Detroit and Pittsburgh for now. Who's the MVP of either of those teams so far?



Or someone else entirely? I would love to hear your thoughts.